Dear Deployment I HATE YOU!

Well communication between the hubby and me is diminishing more and more. He is work longer hours and getting less time just to kick back or let me know what is going on. I know that he does what he can, doesn't mean I have to like how things are! I miss talking to him and hope that things slack off out there and I get to hear from him more. What started out as a contact a day is now I am lucky if I get a 15 min conversation on his way out the door or to bed.

Abi hardly hears her daddy's voice anymore which is making her act up more and more. She knows that he is gone and is beginning asking for him more frequently everyday. She doesn't understand that he is away for work. She brings me the phone or sits in front of the computer and asks me to call him....it breaks my heart to try and explain to her that I can't. She waits and waits, and eventually gets mad because she thinks that I am not letting her talk to her dad...not that he just doesn't have the time. I hope that one day soon something will click inside her tiny little head and she will understand that her daddy does want to talk to her he just can't right now, and that I am not trying to stop her from talking to him. I think they need to set time aside for everyone to contact their family everyday. I am sure they would find a way to keep it from ppl anyway.

I sent my dog to go live at my Grandma's for a while. I am trying to get my stress level (and blood pressure) down. So far that is proving hard to do. I have to have surgery soon and need to cut out a lot of stress to make it easier with the healing! It's going to be a simple surgery, but a major one. Hopefully this will fix all of my problems, and I have been promised that the Heartburn will go away this time. So YAY for getting hernia's sewed up!!! They told me the other day that once I wake up from the surgery that I am going to have a lot of pain in my chest and left arm, that it would feel like heart attack symptoms but it's perfectly normal. I really am not looking forward to that. I went through it with my gall bladder surgery, and that hurt more than the incisions that they made! At any rate I need to get this done and over with so hopefully things will start getting better. I really am tired of eating Tums all the time. They don't taste all that yummy >< Koda is just way to rambunctious of a pup for me to try to take care of while I am recovering. I am not supposed to do much for the first few weeks so I don't pop a suture. This makes me really nervous as I am not good at being a couch potato.

Anyway I mostly wanted to thank the Army for being totally retarded and too demanding. It is grossly unfair how are soldiers are treated. I think pack mules get treated better than most of them. Timmy was telling me how they are on 12 hour days, and they are talking about putting them on 20 hour days. Which means no more getting to talk to him unless he is at work. I really hate the way they handle things over there. Then my hubby has to make a choice of talking to Abi and me OR sleeping so he doesn't hurt himself with lack of sleep. HMMMMMM which is going to make me worry less??? It does no good getting mad about it, because I know that it is never going to get better...if it changes at all it will be for the worse. It is really hard being the one that is left behind. When you don't hear from that someone you wonder all sorts of things. Did something happen? Is he just still stuck at work? Did his internet go out? Did I say something to upset him? Is he out on a last minute mission? You never know what is going on. Sometimes you hear from the people he is there with, and other times you just have to patiently wait until you hear from them again. You have to be thankful for the times that you know and try not to worry too much about the times that you don't know anything. You have to hold them near and dear to your heart and know that they are doing the same thing with you. However hard it may be to remember these things when they are so far away.

Crazy Whirlygig of FUN!!!

So as if I didn't have enough to do things this month keep adding up. My hubby's birthday is the 13th, and even though he can't be here with us we are going to celebrate anyway. I have already sent off his box-o-goodies and hopefully he will get them next week. It will be a day late, but unfortunately Monday was Labor Day and the post office was closed. I realized this about halfway through the day when I was getting angry b/c the mail hadn't come yet. Alas we will connect on his birthday on opposite sides of the world, which is really better than nothing!!

For the rest of this week however it is one appointment after another. Today Koda (our dog) had to see the Vet. He got what he needed and I found out some stuff that I really needed to know. It seems that our next door neighbor's dog has caught the eye of my furry little son, and is currently driving him nuts. He has been digging and climbing underneath the fence to get to her. They both have been fixed so no puppies, HOWEVER the neighbor is being a butt about the situation. I try to keep Koda inside as much as I can, but sometimes he needs to just roam in the backyard. Not to mention that he does have to potty. When he gets in the neighbors yard though they just let him out of their fence. They don't tell me that he has gone over there or anything, just let him out to roam the neighborhood. This is not a good thing...he is scared to go near the road, but I am afraid that someone is going to take him or that he is going to get run over. I have resorted to chaining him up in the backyard when I am not at home to make sure that he doesn't get over there. I know he doesn't understand and it breaks my heart, but I really don't know what else to do.

Otherwise it's just popping in and out of the house. It seems that so many people are having babies here lately and it has really given me the fever. I love my daughter so much, and not sure if I can even have another one. A situation that I really don't want to dive into. I remember what it was like to hold her until she went to sleep when she was so little. Now I have to chase her down to get a hug!! Getting kisses is out of the question, but it still breaks my heart when she goes bye bye. I love having the alone time sometimes, but I miss her so much when she is gone. She reminds me more and more of Timmy everyday. She is so stubborn, but knows what she wants, and has takin a liking to "Tinkabear" (Tinkerbell to those of you who don't have children), and Sandy (off of SpongeBob). With the temper that could rival her dad's! Oh will I miss these days so much. Really don't know how I ever lived without her in my life. I thought I had a very satisfying life, and then I had my daughter. Everyday that I wake up to that smiling face makes me grateful for every breath that I get to take!